Gratitude Journals
I've been keeping a gratitude journal for almost three years now. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's how I made it out of the pandemic with most of my sanity still in tact. You see, I have an unique situation in which I am the sole 24/7 caregiver for my disabled husband as well as my disabled son. Both bring me great joy and comfort, but both also require so much, in so many ways as well. In reality, being on lockdown was not very different from our everyday routines insomuch as the only times we typically venture out into the world is when we are practicing something called prolonged exposure. When we do go out, it requires a lot of preplanning, a limited timetable, and my being able to adjust to unexpected situations on the fly.
I've been doing this for a long time, so I've gotten pretty good at handling random things. Unfortunately I was not able to plan for COVID 19 (I don't think anyone was) and it brought those few precious outings to a screeching halt with a quickness. Oftentimes I would find myself on my computer looking for things we could all do at home that would satisfy the social element of doing something as a team while still allowing us to enjoy family time and let our minds explore anything other than the four walls surrounding us. Point blank, we were all getting very bored.
Through much trial and error, we discovered two things:
#1 We all rather enjoyed putting puzzles together
#2 We also thoroughly enjoyed filling up day planners with things we wanted to do once the restrictions were lifted.
As I was rolling through Amazon one afternoon looking for more puzzles and day planners, I came across a clickthrough/related item that caught my eye. It was an unassuming soft cover blue book that simply said 'Gratitude Journal' and I had an epiphany.
I felt I had adjusted quite well to what COVID did to those manicured outings we used to have. I knew the impact of losing said outings was going to be detrimental to my guys but I had found alternatives to help them continue their daily lives with as much enrichment from the outside world as I possibly could. What I had not done, was understand how important those outings were to me and in turn, how losing them would have such a negative affect on me. In two seconds flat I went from shopping online to a blubbering mess.
I missed those walks. I missed the fresh air. I missed the social noise. I missed the chaos of trying to get out of the house on time. I missed being able to help my guys experience new things like the ballet and glass art. All of the things that used to drive me crazy because I had to plan around them, suddenly took on new meaning. After a few minutes of just letting it all out, I pulled myself together and bought that little journal that said 'gratitude' on its cover. Instead of letting regret ruin those memories pre-COVID, I decided to be grateful for each of those things I was missing.
I am fully aware of how cheesy/sappy that sounds.
For me, I don't get those 'oh wow' moments very often. So when I do, I pay attention. I bought that exact journal three years ago and I earlier this year it was filled up. It's nothing fancy. Just a space for the date, and the prompt, "I am thankful for..." followed by three lines under it to fill in three things that I was grateful for.
As my mornings are generally quite hectic, I had decided to do my journal at night before bed. My gratitude journal lives on my nightstand with the pen that I bought specifically for writing in it. Each night, I would finish my evening routine and crawl into bed and take a few moments to reflect on the day and write down three things that had made an impact on me. When I was having an especially rough day, I would re-read through my journal to kind of get my head back on straight by reminding myself that there is so much to be grateful for- even if life was a total crap shoot at the moment.
Taking those few minutes to remind myself of at least three things that brought me joy before finally laying down to sleep really did change my outlook on life. Sure, there were days, weeks and the occasional month when life got so hectic that I did not write down a single thing in my journal. But I kept going back to it and after three years I had a book not just full of gratitude, but also of memories.
My first entry was on May 11, 2019 and the three things I was thankful for were:
Being a mom
Air conditioning because I am a wimp
Being able to read and write in cursive
My last entry for this book was on January 15, 2023 and I was thankful for:
Alexa
Being able to afford food and other necessities
The start of a new year, and now, a new gratitude book
Imagine my surprise when today, March 12, 2023, I had another 'oh wow - that's a really good idea' moment.
Now it wasn't as dramatic as the first one with the gratitude journal, but it was still very impactful nonetheless. This morning I came across an article by Dana Santas addressing ways to practice gratitude to combat stress while boosting happiness. In it, she not only revisited the idea of a gratitude journal, but also presented the idea of a gratitude photo album and a gratitude white board. The photo album was essentially a digital journal in which a person can either snap a new photo or two or simply choose some photos from previous albums in which they are grateful for. The white board was something that the writer had installed into her bathroom so that she and her husband could both write down three things they were grateful for while getting ready for bed and they would then see them again upon rising in the morning. You can read that full article here.
After reading said article, I promptly made a new gratitude album in my Google photos and put three pictures in it. I am definitely a visual person and I believe this will help provide another avenue for me to practice mindfulness and be grateful for the things that are occurring around me. The white board is also DEFINITELY something I will be implementing into my husband and I's routine as well- just as soon as we get done with this move, but that is a story for another time.
TL/DR:
Step 1: Get a gratitude journal
Step 2: Write in said gratitude journal
Step 3: Read gratitude journal when days are crappy
Step 4: Enjoy less stress and more happiness
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